A piece of news that is not striking touches my mind: "China's elderly over 60 years old has reached 240 million! Accounting for 17% of the total population, it will reach 300 million in 2025. The population of a whole big country!
For a long time, the life of the elderly has become the most important topic in my daily communication with my friends and relatives. Today, such a large group will step into the elderly society. Compared with several elderly people in China and the United States, the contrast is so striking that I have to write out what I see, feel and think about the elderly life, and think about how to face and spend our elderly life together.
I don't have any classic cases, nor do I compare the economic strength and cultural traditions of the two countries. It is to state the living conditions of some familiar people around us. The three in the United States are in small towns in Central China, and the three in China are in metropolises in Central China. Compare the life state and life philosophy of ordinary people at the same age. For myself and my contemporaries who are about to enter the old age life, we should set an example and set an alarm.
Ms. Jane, who has been visited by all my friends and relatives, is 87 years old. He and his husband are both retired professors at Iowa State University and currently live in a separate apartment at the city nursing home. Before living in the nursing home, she had been a caring volunteer here for more than ten years. After waiting in line for seven years, they sold their big house and donated all the money to the nursing home before they were able to live in the two rooms and one living room here. Their daughter and son-in-law have their own life and work in the town, and the shops are taking care of them. They only gather on holidays and usually live their own independent lives.
Last year, my sister and brother-in-law visited here. She drove us 50 minutes to participate in the national square dance exchange competition. Let the younger sister and brother-in-law feel embarrassed and shocked;
When her cousin came to visit the church, she took food donations to visit the church, distributed activities for the poor, and helped all kinds of vulnerable groups personally. At the same time, he participated in the public welfare activities of many social organizations in the city.
Last year, they went back to Holland and met their friends when they were 18 years old.
At the beginning of this year, she was funding the implementation of one of the largest life and health centers in our city. She gave a speech at every meeting. She does not have any social title, but has a high sense of social responsibility.
The badminton club in our city gymnasium was founded by several retirees 20 years ago. Mr. Carlo, 84, is one of them. Twice a week, he keeps a healthy body and mind. Mr. Carlo volunteers in many different fields: in spring he is the gardener of Raymond garden; in summer he is the organizer and manager of the badminton court of the state games for the aged; and he participates in voluntary donation activities of several community churches throughout the year. All of these jobs are not paid at all, and they have to pay for their time and energy.
Every year, the Iowa geriatric games are held in sidimony, 50 minutes' drive from our city. The game starts at 9 a.m. and he will arrive at the stadium at 7 a.m. for all kinds of preparations before the game and the finishing work after the game. Although my husband has been helping me for several years and wants to take over this job, Mr. Carlo is conscientious and has no regrets. At present, he has no intention of transferring this voluntary labor. Whether it's lawn concerts, National Day parades, Christmas parties, whenever I go to participate in recreational and sports activities in the small town, I can always see Carlos. Watch basketball games always wear their own support team uniforms, playing badminton games wear the latest professional badminton shoes. A big house is still in charge of itself. Enthusiastic participation in all community life, full of enthusiasm and interest in all things.
My neighbor, Ms. Karen, is a retired high school teacher. Because we all like tourism and home decoration, we often have tea and chat together, and have many common topics. Every time I go to her house, I am shocked by the decoration of her house in different seasons and holidays. The tablecloth she sews herself has a different theme changing every month, which decorates the room. The wall of her home is decorated with special souvenirs from each tourist country. Even the bathroom is decorated with unique seasonal decoration. All this complicated work is done by yourself and enjoyed.
Twice a year, they have to do a lot of study preparation before traveling and collect and decorate after traveling. They get together with their children and grandchildren twice a year, and the rest of the time they arrange their own travel. Recently, they just bought a seven seater limousine to prepare for taking their family to Canada's national park this summer.
Seeing that they often sweep the snow and clear the driveway for their 80 year old neighbor on snowy days, I always thought that the Karen couple were about 60 years old and had just retired. I didn't expect that one day she told me that they were 75 years old! Karen is still buying new clothes, bringing new accessories, always full of enthusiasm for life. In ordinary life, you can always find the best example!
Let's take a look at our own old people in China. Because my contact circle is limited, the old people in the cases I listed are intellectuals with education and pension who live in big cities in China.
My father is 87 years old. He was a university science and engineering professor before he retired. After more than 20 years of retirement, life is mainly focused on playing mahjong and participating in various free health care product classes. There are all kinds of health products knowledge pamphlets at home, and health products in bottles and boxes are piled up. He spent more than 20000 yuan to buy the mattress for all diseases, but he was frugal and reluctant to buy the most basic daily necessities. He had diabetes for many years, but stopped the regular medicine in the hospital. He tried to get rid of any disease by drinking goat milk for three months, so as to rejuvenate his life. It is also anger and helplessness for children to see him economize on basic food and spend sky high prices on those fake and useless health care products. From argument to quarrel, it is difficult to communicate.
I have a lot of time every day, but I never want to participate in any community volunteer activities. Only willing to participate in free gift giving activities. Unknowingly, I fell into the pit of brainwashing. I often think that they have lived in the era of indoctrination all their lives. He never wanted to find or try to find out what his biggest hobby in life is? Where is the fun? Have you ever had a dream?
Friends are successful women in shopping malls. They have a solid economic foundation, which makes their parents move from small towns to high-end residential communities in big cities. Then give them tens of thousands of yuan a year to pay for housing, water, electricity and property, so that they can live in peace of mind without pressure. Her parents have a considerable retirement salary and social insurance, which should be a very happy old age. But they are used to saving every cent of their salary just in case. They constantly ask their daughter for every expense in their life, ranging from medical and hospitalization expenses to daily necessities.
She is neither willing to improve her quality of life, nor has a circle of friends and cultural tourism social life, because it all costs money. Her mother's philosophy is the same as that of many of us old people: "I raised you, so what you owe me, you have to repay me. "
They never understand that reproduction is the natural law of life, that giving birth to children is your voluntary choice, and that the process of raising children is the process of experiencing life. They never regard themselves and their children as an independent personality individual, and never have the consciousness of personality equality and respect.
My friend's parents are 65 years old. When they took part in all the important decisions of their daughter's life, from finding a partner to getting married to having children, they put all their savings on their daughter's house. This is not enough. When the grandson was born, they flew back and forth to other places, and devoted themselves to the hot life of taking care of their daughter. However, total devotion has not brought about a better life as expected.
Five people and three generations are crowded in the cramped high-rise apartments in big cities, and their different values and lifestyles collide with each other every day. What they bring to each other is a lot of worries.
Many couples give all their money and love to their grown-up children. Of course, they want to participate in the lives of their children and grandchildren and get what they imagine in return. However, it has been another century. How can children with modern life concept endure and bear this heavy love. I'm afraid stories about the burden of love can be found everywhere around us.
Although China's economic take-off has been on a par with that of advanced countries, many ideological and cultural concepts are still stagnant in the farming society. That's why young people are afraid of going home for the Spring Festival and meeting their relatives and friends. After returning to China for a few days, my girlfriend felt that she could not bear the complexity and drowsiness of her family relationship and fled back. The differences in life concepts make it impossible for us to communicate on the same channel.
I find the following directions for myself and my peers as our goals in life:
Find your own life and enjoy it
From the age of 60, you don't have to work any more. Children's independence allows you to choose your own lifestyle more freely. Your life may be decades away. Ask yourself, what are your hobbies? Music, chess, calligraphy and painting, playing and singing, to learn! Read thousands of books, travel thousands of miles, go! Love a sport, a hobby, try to practice. In the common hobbies, you will find friends with similar interests. Bring you more happiness and surprise in life. Instead of sitting at home and waiting for your children to call, complaining about loneliness and boredom, or trying to go to your children's home and teach them your way of life. How to find the fun and circle of our life to integrate and enjoy is what we should begin to learn and try.
No matter what your social and family identity is, live your own identity first
I greatly appreciate the address of all people in American culture. Whether you are 80 years old or 3 years old, you will respect and be proud to introduce and address each other's names. On formal occasions, it is used as a honorary title such as lady, Mr. and Mrs. Take a look at our social appellations: aunt, sister-in-law, elder brother and my elder sister are more intimate than the whole family. When we go out, there are teachers, managers and some places. We don't know each other's name even after a big drink. The seemingly simple appellation culture actually reflects our interpersonal relationship. Everyone does not appear in social life as an individual, but as relatives and social titles. Not to their own life as the main content of life and put all the mind in life.
The most embarrassing thing is the Chinese women over 50 years old. When they want to live their own lives, they have been named as big sisters and grandmothers. No one calls them by name, which makes them forget who they are and devote themselves to the role of aunt, mother-in-law and nurse.
When I was reading an 18-year-old love letter from my husband and grandmother in a cabin by the lake, I suddenly realized that I never knew my grandmother's name. They just play the role of daughter, wife, mother and grandmother and go through life. The times are progressing and life is extending. Our generation begins at the age of 60, perhaps at the beginning of another few decades. Please play your own role selfishly and try to live your own life.
Looking for great love in giving
China's rich second generation is born because their parents give too much and too much. Many Americans live a very simple life, but donate a large amount of assets to local schools, hospitals and other social institutions. Ordinary people donate their own goods and time obligations to help social services are everywhere. Of course, belief is a big factor. They believe that they can gain recognition of their own value in helping the society. This is the understanding of great love!
My friend many years ago supported a rural girl to go to school, watched her graduate from University, guided her to find a job, and watched her grow from a little girl in the countryside to an educated woman in a big city. Her pride, her sense of accomplishment and her sense of satisfaction are no less than those of a girl who has been funded to change her life.
Looking for great love in giving, whether it is our assets or our feelings, can it be broader and richer!
These cases are not intended to discredit each other and beautify this. They happen to happen around us. Let's not discuss the role of the state for the time being. Many social problems are backward in concept and consciousness. I only hope that after seeing the good life and mental state of other people's families, I can enlighten the Chinese people.
We can't do our best in life, but we try our best to learn how to live a better life. Let life as little as possible to take, as much as possible to give, enjoy the swing!
